BITCH

warning for those on here cause the server down….. nsfw 

Amazon lists:

the dont ask dont tell code. btr rly got it right with the codes. everyone imet before you has no honor.

everything chest and ass off limit to everyone.  not any feminine complimentsr-pe/ p-dophilia/  inc-st*/  microaggressions hit real hard in media   it feels like im being scratched.     propaganda too.   so much pro cop pro military slop i just dont care. i swear i can handle tough topics if they are handled correctly.  my mom has been way better than doesthedogdie so i trust her.     you have been making me wanna watch impractical jokers though.   you was laughing hard.  i geuss its another fault of mine i didnt fill this out first.  it used to bother me just when i would say something like “i like you” or “babe”  and i would get called out on it and it made me think about what i said.    but yeah  i just tried so many times before i exploded to tell you to stop.    the way you eventually responded made me think you understood but it never stopped.      you being able to make the choice to do something for me but i cant do something for you back because i have the same feeling you do is a lot and how negative you would be about it.  like i was the one that wasnt deserving.    i do want to keep you so i tried.   but you kept cutting even deeper it just never would’ve ended well.  some other things i did that was lots of work for me more than something simple i was asking even if you didnt use my server. no one uses it . its fine.    its the way again you respond or try to hide things from me .   making me realizing how much ive actually doing like im doing too much.  not that you arent enough but just i m doing too much…  never was supposed to give my discord, phone, server, make a playlist, even just show you my spotify account .    i didnt think anything of it when i did it .  but it just now i have to think about it and how fucking crazy i am.    i want to die lmao.   

  some things my dad used to call me:  little one, sexy, sweetness, baby,babe. comes back to not touching certain places and feminine stuff.     i couldnt even drink out of a straw without being sexualized by that man so like.    i only accept specific sexualizations mostly manly ones.  and doing specific things like rehabbing baby squirrels. no touching from behind like anything even putting an arm around me from the side  is a no go. oof probably another reason i got startled at the grocery store lol. im fucked. but like my back being touched from the front is fine lol i like my back scratched idk , placing anything over my legs so i cant move i will go into feral mode and id rather not knee the shit out of you. its so easy to disgust me at this point. feet people used to scare me and still do unless its you.

.um so ocd, bipolar schizo, bpd,  ibd, sd, kp,  acid reflux , gastritis.. ,adhd, dyslexia off the top probablt more.      im most horrified of the skin ones and the gastro stuff cause i dont want to get fluids or my dandruff on anyone.     thats why like.   facing each other i cant be on top and my chest needs to be cut off .   which if you like someone is the best way.    oh well.    kp is basically i have permanent goosebumps as like an allergic reaction to the products i use.   mostly just hate how they look but they arent itchy or anything. im just cursed. stress just makes my physical ailments 10 times worse and im always anxiety ill never be free.

 im really willing to talk now like in general before anything .  for you but.   i havent had a good track record with it .  i really hope you at least try to understand what i say.   i know my typing is horrirble but usidjhfuidshifosejoidjoisjsdo. you know its just a lot easier to leave which was my go to.    im really trying well.  add that to another one of the things im not supposed to be doing.  if i can fix whats bothering by talking i want to .   very rare i decide to agree to disagree instead of just leaving but at that point yeah cant talk about it at all,its okay to ask but actual touch should be initated by me first . if you dont ask i might freak out.im really bad again at being publicly affectionate.  i did most my affection in private that even the person i was doing it for didnt realize.  it wasnt just the last person that has problems with my repression..   all of them claimed they wanted me to be more open about it.   again. fucking lyyyyiing.  

being private mostly cause i didnt want to be called out on it and think about it. but im gay yeah.   never enough and when i was a non stop blabbermouth trying to love everybody nobody could stand me  thats how i know.   they are lying.   i need to find some type of middleground cause like if soulmates are real i want to be worthy.  me putting myself out there is really hecking hard though. horrible. ill die instead.thanks for not harrasing me about it. I will probably still need to take breaks after I be gay for awhile but since you are such a champ I will probably not have to be gone for months afterward.  Saying same thing back is better than calling me out. i know kissing can be good now as of recently….. but it used to be my most hated thing to do .    im scared. mmm eye contactcant hug. i have my own version of hug ig but i cant do it on command. kissing is usually way worse idk what you are doing to me. i havent had body autonomy all my life my nos actually meaning something is different. kissing until recently was something i was always forced to do and i thought was never gonna like it. with partners i always just wanted it to be over. im really bad with consent still since there are still times i have no body autonomy hard to heal that way. i used to just give up and be horrible so they wouldnt ask me again but im trying to be better at saying fuck no.

i dont usually even text people when im around them but im going to try to do that instead of repeating stuff and irritating myself. i say myself bc i know my will to speak is so low its so soft most of the time. you found the cheat code though letting me get away with stuff just makes me gayer.

Abelist language is a lot for me but somehow it’s okay if asuka says it 

@carmellarmy They’re so funny #fyp #funny #wrestling #wwe #iyosky #asuka #japanese #argue #lol #fun #edit ♬ Still D.R.E. – Instrumental – Dr. Dre

i cant find just the clip but this has been living in my head rent free ~37 min 

Specific people it’s a lot worse to hear say it. You have not slipped up in awhile. It hurt so bad when you would do it I couldn’t even hear it on tv anymore and its everywhhheerreee. It has at least calmed down on in my head but hearing it all still a little extra sensitive.

more random triggers this is a mess. mental hospitals.  i used to be able to handle it fine in media even after my first visit but i cant do that since the last one. Animal death self explanatory Body fluids Roaches adam sandler jim carrey. seeing people jack off on tv makes my skin and guts crawl…. i could watch you though 

knocking trigger… is still very real. it used to be so bad that every time id use a bathroom stall with a broken lock i would freeze instead of telling them im in there. hopefully i can scream in response at least. i still freak out when im not expecting a knock and so all the cats freak out too even though all i do is freeze lmao.

im not good at being the last to respond. if you can at least let me know if you are planning on being gone for a whole day or more is all i can really ask for.

I usually can’t talk when I eat. you dont have to leave. i try to eat the same time as the cats even though i barely eat its instilled on me to not eat until the whole family is home. im over now but eating together with chosen family is still really good. i just really cant talk when eat

thanks for saying sex worker instead of anything else that hurts.  whore is only good if its a lemon stealing whore.

sensory issues:unteated wood, plastic like grocery bags and wrappers , shower cutrians

im working on not assuming things and suffering in silence instead saying how things make me feel hoping to just be reassured so i can move on without those garbage thoughts swirling around my head til i decide to leave. bear with me

chore triggers. used to be able to do only do laundry just fine but that was ruined for me recently. not just with cum but living with my sister. its not good. given up completely. the clothes everywhere. never having an empty washer or dryer when i have to wash . at this point i just leave my dirty clothes in the bathroom floor pile so it eventually gets washed with her stuff. it works but i never know where my clothes are and just not being able to find something can give me a panic attack. yeah even just being at another persons house and not knowing where the forks are . i used to take like two bags even if i wasnt gonna sleep over at someones house so i didnt have to ask or look for anything. doing any chore around anyone takes a lot of energy out of me even if i like them. if strangers are there its absoluetley impossible. im not gonna tell you who to have in your house but. are you willing to do my chores indefinetley?

i think eventually you could touch my ass if you stayed long enough but never grab or slap or anything else. my chest you cant ever touch til i cut it off. i cant ask you to abstain from ass. i dont think i could go without women for the rest of my life and i thought of doing like with alistair and leliana but. im too jealous. i couldnt watch. you can do whatever with anyone as long as you dont give me a disease and that ass is mine. i want you to be part of my package if i do meet a woman and we are still talking if i live long enough to move out of this hell hole. im honestly still too fucked to commit to anything but im annoying and i do want to be here as long as possible. th

so the truth about head. i said already i like to do it just not with dicks. also all except the one time it was a woman i didnt feel like they deserved me putting myself throughh that. she definetley didnt deserve it. youre lucky you do and youre hot. i was supposed to save head without 69 for your birthday.i geuss i could share some things that would make it easier for me. it helps you dont try grinding into me or touching me at all besides my dick. it might be the only time i cant even do hair pulling. i need to feel like im the one in control or its a wrap. just wanna hear moans, begging and feel writhing. im not grossed out by you i like your body but im still grossed out by foreskin and smegma so hygeine is important. uh giving me head also helps ig. people constantly demanding it when they never do it for me is so wild and yet.

i would have to read the whole thing to find if i mentioned the mask here. i wanted to make a video for you cause im jealous and if you jack off to something i want it to be me. i geuss if you find out something you want to film that im capable of doing let me know. i want you to be the first person i actually do things on my own free will at my own pace. yeah that kind of means having to pretend like certain things dont exist or that you only are attracted to me in certain ways til im ready to deal with it. yeah even the thought that you want to do it makes it worse idk. delete me im fucked

i dont like/have the energy for talking and i dont need that to be used to assume im mad at you especially if i have an anxiety shutdown or something. is theresomething else i can do . touching is not a good one to do either. stink cant even touch me half the time. i get overstimulated way to easily bc i wake up already 99% there i cant really do anything about it. if im not telling you to fuck off though it should be fine. sassy is old enough to have learned with touching at least. i cant do the constant poking or being jossled/badgered around if you lay still on top of me like a dog would though thats fine. You said “You said Of course i don’t want to argue. I just don’t like bothering you when your upset. Not trying to get stabbed when it feels like you want to be left alone. You told me to lower my volume yesterday and I did without any problem. I thought you put on the headphones to be left alone” and somehow didnt want to leave immediatley . i have only stabbed 2 people with a knife anyway. 1 i almost killed. let me tell you all the instance. 1. i told them to leave me alone 10 times and kept telling my sister i wanted to leave but she kept ignoring me. 2. put his arm around me and told me he was gonna be famous for being a star athelete and a r-pist???? 3. peed on my shoes and had the whole family against me gaslighting me, threatened to r-pe me and kill stink, kept locking me out the house. and more. i do not stab lightly. im constantly pushed to the edge and it has nothing to do with me but it feels like it does all the time especially when you say something like that. i will cut you if you want me too cause i wanna be healed by you. im feral and definetley would bite in a fight but thats not why i bite you either… ive never been allowed to do with anyone and dont want to ruin some of the only things left in life left to be enjoyed for me lmao.

if you watch anything like always sunny or … oof lots of anime in general. you wont be able to anymore as long as im around. to the point where if anyone makes me watch stuff like that i just need to leave. i dont like the intrusive thoughts those things give me and idk how anyone else that isnt shitty isnt effected by that shit at all and would rather support predators instead of taking criticism. the fact that stuff like that can make me literally throw up bc my mental illnesses and gastro issues just gonna keep getting worse :). oh robot chicken….. i dont remember much but seth green is a terrible person pfffbr

date ideas: going to movies , grocery, dogsmresturant,concert,wrestlimg,comventjon yeah i hate going outside no matter what its less painful with the right person and ass grabbing. im probably gonna be most hypervigilant at any store. idk how you can warn me before touching me but the startling is normal. i been wanting to go to a reptile con for a long time but itll probably make me sad seeing them as commodities. theres still theres cons that are basically weird flea markets fuuuuuck bitch i miss the flea market so bad . even with no money the smell of corn and crime in the air.

thought processes can be killer : being ungrateful. we had the conversation its been sitting in my notes. theres been too much of people holding stuff i never asked for over my head and i cant do it anymore im exhausted.

shopping list from my house: duck egg, pork fat, whetstone, automatic litter box?,more litter, more baby food,scoop, heating pad

i need to have less worry about editing this im adding both my boo profile and what i used to send when italked to someone for like a week

OkCupid dating

If ur not black and “trying” to use ebonics pls go straight to hell jail

I want to add what makes me feel unwanted or like I give people the ick.

The pets or anyone under my care comes first.

I am non verbal. Irl I mostly communicate through grunts and gestures. Sometimes in song. It hurts for me to talk especially at high volumes and I am still trying to unlearn this mumble I accomplished for saftey that unless you are right next to me I sound like a charlie brown teacher. Any type of repeating is triggering for me but especially having to say the same thing. I am empathetic towards hard of hearing ppl etc but you have to be okay that I end up having to mispronounce things and make up my own words/ phrases for enrichment. Basically I need my silence to not be taken personally. If you talk I listen. If I didnt understand I will ask. Sometimes when people ask me stuff I do not respond verbally but instantly start working on whatever they asked about. For example if you asked me where something was I would probably just bring it to you. That is way less energy than telling you where it is . Sometimes it has to do with the chronic pain. The amount of times people have tried to start arguments with me because I am trying not to think about my guts being turned inside out . Starting to feel like I just can’t be alive around other people. My non mental issues get a lot worse with stress and I am mentally ill so… I have gastro and skin issues so I worry a lot about getting fluids on someone. right now no idea how i would not get dandruff on someone besides only meeting outside and not touching. It has not happened yet but all these issues are gonna get worse with age. These past few days I been sneezing p much all day just cause of dust I think. My allergies can be pretty bad. Also if I am too stressed out it is very visible. Skin on my face starts falling off , hives , my dick shrivels up and dies. I am also allergic to every hygeine product you can find in the store. I have yet found a deoderant less than $20 that doesnt make it look like I have breast cancer. So I am pretty empathetic when it comes to other peoples hygeines issues just dont give me a sti lol.

My life sucks. People keep trying to pry about my life and then getting mad at me for telling them. Idk what yall want from me. Unfortunately I am still living it. I said I am really bad with confrontation. In person I will freeze up and get trapped in flashbacks until I get snapped out by you yelling at me and walk away. That is another thing. I cannot do eye contact if you try to make me I will just spiral even worse. I geuss just talk to me/treat me like a human being instead of exactly like my abusive not father??? I know i should be more lenient cause i dont have the energy to approach anyone rn but if all you do is say hi im gonna assume you are not even trying. I need help keeping the conversation going I got severe ocd but still dont squeeze my toothpaste from the end til its empty I dont really want anymore white friends. Ill take it but if I wanted to get married it would have to be another black person. i am black and native everything else in the mix too small to mention. ive had lots of identity issues but im not here to fix yours please dont come here trying to make you feel better for being white. I dont really feel like answering questions unless to make another black person safe. Both my parents are part black and native. They come from a mixed place and I am first gen here. My mothers side was more hit with the spanish gene so she is white passing. Its like each kid takes turn having color. You know how it was during those times the men went into everybody they could but the women stayed loyal. Idk genetics are weird. So glad I did not get the no tan gene. No I do not interact with any of them to answer more questions. When we were talking they couldnt answer anything cause got hit with colonization too hard. The closest thing I got was my most likely nawat lineage. A lot of them are visibly black or native but the self hatred is strong. I hope eventually it wont matter beyond our own identity issues. I used to identify as demisexual now im acephobic. But honestly I do not care as long as you don’t mention it or are not lgbt trying to claim you are bc you are ace. I would just rather not talk about it at all. I have tons and tons of trauma / have bpd so I am very sensitive. A lot of times stances I take takes like 5 years for everyone else to catch up. I really do not wanna be waiting that long for someone to see my point of view just to not get cancelled and not actually cause they believe those things at all. So sexual stuff. Theres a lot of things I know would work for me I havent been able to try. Like knife play. But a lot of things would show and I would only want it to show if I am claiming you. Kind of redundant to say cause I only want to deal with people I am with obssessed with now. At the same time I have lots of triggers so there is still a lot of stuff considered normal I cannot do. I have willingly hugged people less than I have kissed. But if I ever put my mouth on you on any way you are mine now. normally I do not like touching people. Might take awhile. More pressure when I am trying to take things seriously. I have only willingly kissed 3 people. Technically not a boy but def no where close to a girl. When I use she/he for other people it is more of how I feel about them or things than gender but if someone is also trans I respect their pronouns. I am realizing I use masculine terms like dude bro and man as curse words. I swear I am not calling you that.

Since monogamy I can’t seriously be with someone that has a dick unless they wanna get surgery I could wait years for that. I just can’t deal with it forever if it were up to me I could just be without dicks forever. I can only handle temporarily cause I be too sappy. Probably if I touch a dick at all I am in love with you. Need me a freak thatll think im big sexy instead of guiltripping me for not responding on time when I rescue a blue jay from a cat. Okay that was one person but I dont wanna let it happen again. I deserve better lol

I never call anyone I care about by their given name. I either give them a nick name because they are mine or I call them by their name only because no other person by that name exists to me. But it is very rare. You probably already had like a three letter name and there are no other ways to make a name out of it idk dont ask me how my brain works. I probably don’t call anyone anything else but “that guy”. And one of the kids I call her shit head. When she was a baby she thought it was her real name. just mentioning to like to not feel bad about the nicknames but i mean you can just tell me not to call you that idk. they are all basically pet names like you probably call your cat shit head. YES I AM A DOG YES I AM COMMUNIST YES I LOVE KNIVES I am okay with being sexual and not being romantically linked. But if there is romance I need monogamy. Anything else is not a serious/important thing to me unless it is not romance. Maybe one day if getting STDs ever become impossible. This medical horror I listened to even getting regularly tested doesn’t sate my paranoia anymore and I already know not to trust anybody . I really think if it wasn’t for the permanent damage I would not care about multiple partners despite the bpd jealously that I have. So I just let people decide what they want from me and keep it however they say. I mostly want to just make connections right now. I stopped thinking about my soulmate all day. Ill be an adovacate for anyone else without a voice. And I was raised by cats. If you dont feed them what their mama birthed them to eat making it much easier for them to go blind and/or die within a day literally for not getting enough nutrients and your excuse is that youre lazy. Maybe you shouldnt have got a cat. (They/them) Its easier for me if im the one coaxed out gently and with treats in your pocket. Stream live action bebop Whats the point of any relationship if you cant feel safe around them or hit on each other 24/7. Im not here for it.

Just swiping and hoping someone intetesting pops up in the chat.Idk I wish I there was a better algorithim or I could just get to the point where I can call on someone whenever I want forever or be covered in someones blood romantically/platonically or both in p much any context. I am so feral rn I wanna rip someone apart but also just all the people I dealt with so far I am so exhausted. I know every time it is normal to feel like it cannot get any worse but I just really do not have any energy for the bs anymore. I cant even put it into words rn but I am just gonna list some icks and get personal. No ddlg ppl, race play, cops,r-pe play. I do not want to get into it. You can actually tell a lot about someone by the stuff they are willing to stomach. I can feel people I used to know seeing this thinking stuff I am saying is only about them. But its been so many and I am so tired. I have always been critical about media. I have a lot of triggers. But like…. Someone really made that…. And you know stuff that happened to me and you wanna guilt me for not wanting to touch it. Fucking weird. Also whats on media tends to show what people are gonna be okay with in our society. I geuss I can understand getting hooked on trash but a show can make me literally throw up or make my intrustive thoughts 100x worse. nah

If you think you can capture me and all of a sudden i wont leave you when you purposely fuck me up you got another thing coming. im giving you a bit of time to change but im already out the door.

No longer taking credit for things other people did to you.

no one is ever gonna stop making mistakes even in relationships no matter how many people teach you lessons . just take accountability and change it so we can move on god damn. I have to take meds for the rest of my life. If you wanna make me quit so i can make myself worse with weed go make someone else kill themselves. I have no shame at all I never do anything I feel like I would have to hide. If you wanna accuse me of doing something I did not do instead of just asking me about it. Always fucking wild. Especially when there was no proof of me lying before but you do not wanna believe a single word I say. Why even be here? Dont wanna trust me? Fine. Go away. It is always when I get super attatched to someone so it can hurt. If you are the type to hold stuff other peoples heads or want to guilt trip me for stuff I never asked you to do . No. I do not like confrontation. If I bring something up to you it is not because I am trying to start an argument but because I want to keep talking to you. Otherwise I would just leave. I am seriously not arguing anymore. I really do want something stable and healthy any kind of relationship so I have been trying to talk. But it really doesnt do shit. What is the point of me having the high ground when I am just learning all these people never really cared about me at all. Basically I have bpd and like I spent all my life running away from everyone and everything and dropping out of peoples lives cause I was trying to kill myself everyday and I am trying to do different so I can get better things and not be at fault for why my relationships are all bad but it is all just so much worse. It is very recently I tried giving people chances and it is a circle of the same bs over and over. So like only message me if you are not annoying or wanna give me money lol. I just want anyone to value my opinion based on way too much expierence and not misgender me.

-my toothpaste without a dispenser is somehow always fucked despite my ocd

– would like to have a low anxiety life and i know the people i surround myself take a large part in that even if i didnt hve the disorder

BOO

whats your opinion on charlie kirk  🤔 tell me that instead of just saying hey.  

i had to remake my account cause my hand me downs went from apple to android .

If you can rec me some good horror comedy withOUT ped-philia/ or microggressions/propaganda you are my new best friend. I’m fucking starving.   I’m talking literally anything music,movie,TV,anime,books . I’m so so so hungry and tired 

– rly bad at social/human stuff looking for guinea pigs so maybe I can be worth having a friend before I turn 30

– you don’t want to date me fr unless you’ll like never picking the music again

-leftist not liberal. everyone deserves food,healthcare, housing. no cops. As in working as a cop or people supporting of them. eat the rich. don’t wanna argue about it. just leave me alone. I’m trying to only keep people I’m not embarrassed to be bring home to my online only friends  My ancestors are from one of many small countries the US pillaged after the spanish did cause of communism. Decades later still taken over for prisons? We have no resources idk. Im tired. 

-gay. can’t drive.

– nonbinary but sometimes a man. they/them.   I’m very open to talking but not a lot of initiating it rn.    I don’t plan on using this for dating.    Just know from now on only dating people that see me for me.  As soon as you falter I’m out.   You would have to be really hot and cool to change my mind.About dating.   Plus meeting up is pretty much gonna get impossible soon. I will be in and out the country. mostly out.  If anyone out there is legit looking for someone just to talk to I am here hoping you are interested enough to keep it going 

– csa survivor lead to me dating people way older than me if i were to date again id want it to be someone my own age. never dated anyone younger. the most im willing to do is 2 years. if you are beyond that i hope you can accept only being platonic. 

– cares about animals too much. having to hear about mistreatment even by diet is getting too depressing for me. thatll be one of the first things i ask if i see you got pets is what you feed them.  i have gone through a lot with cat diet that i know how important it is for their health. its okay if you are scared since its not wide spread knowledge on purpose (woohoo capitalism) personally was thrust into because my cat almost died.  Its cheaper to feed your cat properly.as in cost of them food but also cost of vet biils.  if you dont have the energy or the funds to do less work i geuss  🤷‍♂️ but if all you gotta say is “its too much work”(ive had ppl tell me this after asking for help and i actually provide them with tools) go straight to hell. do not get pets if you are not gonna take care of them properly. 

– sexuality: likes girly pretty men and every kind of woman that is into me. if you are a man that attempts to dominate me you are boring. Honestly…  The bond between two male friends is really something different and pure and i do miss it.   I’m thinking about avoiding anything with a penis that isn’t full woman at this point. 

– touch repulsed. there are times not even the cats can touch me. probably part of why they let me do whatever i want with them like make them yeet. they are hungry 😹 the thing is with dogs they are actually less annoying they only stay in one spot. cats actually way more clingy like i have a cat that is so clingy if i dont pet him he will try to spill hot liquids on me and not care if it spills on him too hell just keep going. chillllllll

– have a personality disorder. all humans are replacable. expierences are not.  

My full diagnosis long. Would rather not deal with ableists at all.

– being left on read is not good for me mentally doesn’t really matter if it’s random person either way not responding if the convo is dead

– i dont like being lusted after for anything i do unless its rly sexy like rehabilatating baby squirrels . I dont want to be perceived. Im still trying to unlearn a lot of techniques I had to do in order to be safe surrounded by abusers and still not away technically. Trying not to be ai until I can be horny on main.. if im doing something sexual because its the only way to get someone important as close to me as possible even if it gives me a panic attack is it really consent? Idk. Dont want that thought for me. 

– lots of trauma. I have to damage my kidneys in order to get in and out of bed. Just dont ask if you just want to make me feel bad for telling you.

– do not accuse. i mean what i say. just ask me.

– d*cks*xic.

– need codepency. play video games not mind games with me.

– harsh critic of media

– took too much of my 20s taking ugly short lived people too seriously now i need hot people that accidentally end up lasting forever.

-nonverbal. more likely to bring what you asked for than tell you where it is.

– when i dissassociate (all the time) or i dont like the food/texture i chew with my mouth open

– i have paralyzing jealously but like i really dont care as long as i get some attn. give me give me give me i need some more

– i havent had complaints about my smell but i am allergic to all hygeine products you can get in person and i dont have to have cancerous looking rash for anyone anymore .  

– the mix is black and ndn. (Nawat/aztec. i know the actual word is pipil but was sort of used as a slur back then)

– idc if ur christian or asexual just things ppl dont shut up abt and im trying minimize triggers from my life. You canbe all that just considerme an island with bow and arrows if you wanna preach

– nothing has come out of me but i raised two kids already so i dont want to deal with adults that like to throw fits 

and def not trying to babysit anyone older than me

I try to be nice but at this point if you hit on me you better be trying to be my sugar mama unless trinity and jimmy are asking for a third where i only deal with naomi. Im not even responding with anything but my cashapp. send me a persona3reload  pc code. something. I cant meet unless you pay for an uber and I am not asking you to. Im just here to shit post. If you still wanna talk though.hi i rarely check this app anymore.i mostly spend my time tinkering with self hosting stuff and researching ckd bc of a cat that was recently dumped here. Really spend 75% of my daily time in ckd circles trying to pick the right regimine. Right now I really do not want to hear if you find me attractive or not especially not as an opener. Im really fiending for a bro rn.   I keep thinking about my 6th grade mlm crush.  it was probably the only good relationship with a guy we didnt do anything sexual didnt really touch really but were obsessed with each other.  then didnt talk for years until highschool we finally had a class together and he would bring me snacks because i was starving myself for a ps4 and wed just be laughing the whole hour together .  i just want a little more now. but bad.

Let me add u to my close friend newsletter for when im overstumulated so you know its real

Media I hate course $690069 

I used to watch movies completely blind no spoilers and finish to make sure I hated them until I watched the death of dick long, David Bowie: so you gonna defend p-dophilia at my birthday party? With a birthday gift? , satire can be fun and how always sunny is not. i can’t think of anything on tv that is actually satire., fable 2 is the only bad fable game , why is death note the only anime i have been able to find without nasty stuff? I would include blassreiter but i tried to read the manga. Yikes!Written by song of saya dude that uses excuse of almost dying to romantacize r-pe and p-dophilia. We have all almost died. Youre not special. Apparently the anime is only good bc they had the yugioh guy work on it. Thank you Legend. , i still watch mando cause it is my fave trope bad turned daddy but i cant watch any star wars anymore or ill remember how much i wanna kms for the greater good, i only can stomach tos i am captain kirk and ds9 and hate all the others. Some of std is revolutionary but at the same time is as bad as supernatural. Next gen I hate the most and then its voyager.

> listening to true crime doesnt give you a psychology degree. Environment doesnt end at the home theres capitalism too and how certain people will get away with anything. I just really hate I didnt really even try to be my own person just to survive until I was 14 no matter how loud my conscience was. Im still unlearning this stuff at 28 despite still being in the same situation. Im trying to put my foot down and really listen to him now. its called taking responsibility for who you are and what you do. nothing to do with mental illness.  So you like true crime that isnt heists or uprisings? Say its for psychology but you want to claim white people got away with killing brown people because they were hot? Interesting.

Like do what you will on your own time but if we become close enough I bother to see you in person don’t bring it up to me or put it on when I’m there.  Would be nice if there was people that cared about me being safe.

I have a secret I wanted to leave for the end. I used to sing for people when I wanted them to fall in love with me.  I don’t have that use anymore but I still like doing it and you can hear my voice hi. Wtf I can only do one….  I’m gonna randomly come here to sing different songs

procceed with caution⚠️ 

i watch too much stuff. i havent really been playing games while messing with self hosting stuff. off the top of my head freakytalez and love hurts are my favorite of this year. bullettrain probablt the only good thing that came from last year.  iconic. i qoute it a lot. be ready.

Media I love course $69 with certificate

Cowboy bebop live action is way better than the anime and you can’t change my mind. Sexiest part of deadly premonition without r-pe for no reason. Faye is actually a character and is gay. actual gay.not queerbaiting. Ren is a character and trans played by a trans person.Fuck you. , the saints row reboot is the best saints row storyline. You are just a hater. But I might never play again just because the gameplay and minigames sucked so bad, i have seen big time rush and babymetal live and will again. Also the show made me gay. , Goro Majima : only what I say is canon is canon., why do i need to spend another $30 to play battleborn a game that doesn’t exist anymore one more time and why we must dismantle capitalism, leverage and vincenzo how to deal with criminals. Eat the rich. Eat the rich. , black rat you can have girls round house kicking in skirts with no panty shots???? That teenage mafia jigsaw is my fucking doter. , Ultimate versus. A world where I can’t kick your ass isn’t worth living in. , the orville probably the best big budget scifi out rn. Being straight and cis being illegal will never not be funny.   devotion the game probably the only story surrounding an abuser that was written so well. like i can tell you everything is freaking accurate. if you know what im talking about you won.

Yes you can ask for a free consultation only for this course. 

I want a freak I can add to my media server and make them watch/read/play what I tell them to and not make me regret it

Okay im not perfect. Music is a lot harder since its much easier to find the sound and not have to deal with ugly people. I still listen to smiths sometimes bc yes morrisey is a piece of shit but it took me awhile to find out bc everyone was just complaining that all he does is whine and be gay and same. For me its more that he has nothing to whine about tho and I gaslight myself that I am the same. PunCtUrED Bicccyllce. Sometimes when that song comes on i scream that part and skip it. My worst movie is probably helldriver. Not asking anyone to watch it but the movie is about me. I still want to get to the point i have a chainsaw arm and I use it on my abusers to get my heart back. The guy who wrote it also did tokyo gore police and meatball machine . Tgp is not as bad as helldriver but definetely never ever watching meatball machine ever again. Tv show… i still put supernatural sometimes. I used to watch it so much that it actually calms my 20 year old cat during thunder storms. Often I have it playing for her all day now when I am not in the room. She has her own profile on my jellyfin now bc i have stuff tracking what i watch . I want my rewinds to be correct lol., steven yeun is my emotional support voice :/